Don’t play the blame game

Too many arguments break down into yelling and screaming.

“You did that”

“You did this”

“You made me feel awful”

You, You, You!!! These are fighting words. Sentences that start with ‘you’ are accusatory.

On the other hand, sentences that start with ‘I’ have the opposite effect and help you partner sympathize with how you feel.

“I feel this way…”

“I was hurt when…”

“I get frustrated…”

These are the first steps of resolving a conflict. Its easier for you partner to be on your side when you say how you feel. Its hard when he or she feels on the defensive.

Don’t accuse him or her during an argument. If you find yourself yelling or screaming, take a 5 minute break to cool down and start the next sentence with “I”.