10 commandments of communication

1. Thou shall figure out what you want to say before you say it. Before you have a serious conversation with your spouse, make sure you know what you want to say to avoid misunderstandings.

2. You shall decide what your needs are from your spouse. Whether you need an answer or just appreciation, you are more likely to get it if you know what you want.

3. Thou shall use good timing. You must judge the timing when you want to talk to your spouse. Is he or she sick, he or she late for kids soccer game, or is preparing for a big meeting at work.

4. Thou shall make eye contact. You are more likely to listen to each other if you are looking at each other.

5. Thou shall get each others’ undivided attention. If you are trying to talk to each other and have something else in your mind, you will not be heard.

6. You shall be a good listener. You were giving 2 ears and one mouth to do twice as much listening as talking. Your discussion will be more productive.

7. Thou shall confirm #6. Make sure your spouse understands what has been said.

8. Thou shall rephrase what has been said. This will onfirm exactly what you’ve heard.

9. You shall schedule a discussion time. This may go with #3 but sometimes you may need your spouse’s full attention when you need it most.

10. Thou shall remember, communication is a 2-way street. Your goal is for both of you to strengthen your relationship and benefit from each other.<img